How to help a family member or a friend plan a celebration of life.
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"Let me know if you need anything."
"What can I do to help?"
It can be difficult for someone who is grieving to answer this question. Even the most seasoned and experienced end of life professionals can catch themselves asking this, unknowingly. The good news is that we have many celebration of life ideas you can consider for helping someone with the planning.
In the past six years, our team has helped many groups plan unique and creative celebrations of life. Many family and friends have expressed a desire to assist with these events. Time after time, we are amazed by how quickly a community comes together to celebrate a life.
Humans are natural helpers - we want to help but don’t always know how. Here are some practical ways to assist someone grieving in organizing a special event to honour and remember their loved one.
New Narrative offers one-on-one event consultations to answer your questions and offer your group immediate event relief.
When leading up to the event, a family will need to manage many tasks. Certain tasks, like picking music, sorting photos, and deciding who will speak, may have more emotional significance.
Here are a few ways you can help with preparing for the event:
Offer to share photos and videos of the honouree
Organizers often struggle with collecting and organizing photos for funerals, memorials, and celebrations of life.
We use these images around the room, for programs, slideshows, and as the image for memory cards.
If you know the honouree well, offering to give their family photos and videos can assist them during this time. Remember, your photo might be new to them and can be useful for showing all parts of their life.
Take care of pick-ups on the morning of the event
The less someone has to worry about on the day of the event, the better. Event day is busy with tasks, preparations, and managing last-minute changes and sometimes comes with family issues.
One very helpful way to offer help for a celebration of life is to volunteer yourself as a person who can pick up specific items on event day.
Prior to the event, you could offer to pick up:
Pre-ordered food and beverages, such as platters, soft drinks, beer, and wine
Coffee carafes ordered from a local coffee shop
Larger items or bins from someone’s house, brought to the event site
Flowers or other decor pieces
Printed materials or pictures
If you are planning this event yourself, we highly recommend delegating as many of these tasks as possible. Create a simple spreadsheet to track who is taking care of pickups and purchases. A spreadsheet ensures all the details are being accounted for.
Ask if you can arrive early to help with unloading items and setting up tables and chairs
Setting up is a task that many families and planning groups will want to take on themselves. Planning a celebration of life is special and meaningful, but it often requires many people to (literally) help make it easier. Volunteer to come early and assist with tasks like arranging chairs, placing tablecloths, or unloading valuable items and mementos.
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and offer immediate relief and planning support.
Bring a handwritten card or note
Bringing a handwritten card to a celebration of life is a nice gesture. Remember, your presence, shared stories, and memories of the honouree are the most meaningful things you can bring.
The card can include some of these fond memories for the family to read after the celebration of life ends. You could also write about how their legacy lives on in your life. From our experience, a handwritten card offers lasting comfort. Families value these words of encouragement, appreciating your thoughtful gesture.
Prepare a brief comment or poem to share during the open microphone
When our team works on a celebration of life event, we will always review your position on an open microphone. Many events like funerals, memorials, and celebrations of life invite attendees to share reflections about the honouree. Prepare a brief remark or anecdote that captures their spirit - and write it down!
Consider going first or offering to be the first person to speak with the moment arises. You can write a poem, story, or reflection about the honouree's life and legacy for others to listen to. You would be surprised at how much this contribution matters and how it can help break the ice.
Click here for more helpful tips on open microphone Etiquette
Contribute a story or memory in the guest book
One of the most important contributions you can make at a celebration of life event is filling out the guest book. Guest books can be a traditional lined book or they can be in the form of free written memory cards. After the event, guests will cherish your shared stories and memories.
Schedule a follow up message or phone call after the memorial service
After the memorial service ends, keep the connection by scheduling a time to follow up. Take some time and mark a specific date to send a follow up email, letter, or phone call to check in. Continued support can be immensely helpful during the dealing process, reassuring them that they are not alone in their journey.
Offer to create a memory collage or a video tribute following the memorial event
You can choose to gather photos, mementos, and written tributes from the memorial service to create a scrapbook or collage. Encourage other guests and members of your community to contribute for this collaborative effort. This can be a meaningful keepsake that captures the essence of the person's life and the impact they had on others.
We hope you found these tips helpful. It is hard to know where to begin when offering help for planning a celebration of life. The most important thing to remember is that any and all acts of service matter. Small gestures honour the person being remembered and are a very meaningful way you can offer support to a family and friends.