How to include an open microphone at a celebration of life without stress!
A Case for the Open Microphone
When organizing a celebration of life, there are many components that go into organizing a ceremony. There are a few details we always recommend for every ceremony: a host or emcee, a select number of speakers who have been asked ahead of time, a ritual for pausing and reflecting (we love using BeCeremonial for this), and a chance for an open microphone.
Most often, when an open microphone is brought up, we hear stories of guests “going on for too long” or second-hand stories about awkward silences. Not only do we understand the reservations, but we’ve seen it, ourselves! Over the last five years, the open microphone portion of the celebration of life has been a hot topic, often dissuaded.
Now, we would like to change your mind.
With all New Narrative events, our goal is to create a comfortable environment for your family and your guests so everyone can feel comfortable and vulnerable sharing their stories and memories. The real ‘wow factor,’ if we may use this term, is capturing the memories shared from all aspects of the honouree’s life.
Our goal is to give guests to the opportunity to
learn something new about the honouree*
Open microphones during a ceremony are often some of the best, most raw, and true reflections, as these remarks are often given straight from the heart and come from a place of wanting to share their interpretation of the honouree with the rest of the guests.
Recently, we were privileged to witness an open microphone where the honouree’s neighbour shared the origin story behind a particular nickname. No one had heard the story before and, unsurprisingly, the honouree’s family was grateful to have had the opportunity to hear this.
New knowledge comes from the shared stories and vulnerability from your guests. An open microphone is just one way to encourage your guests to be comfortable, vulnerable, and for others to open up to learning something new.
What if we’re set on not having an open microphone?
That’s okay, too! We’ll give you a few extra tips to gain these valuable anecdotes from your guests instead of an open share or open microphone.
What Is an open microphone at a celebration of life or memorial service?
An open microphone is a dedicated time during the ceremony where guests who are in attendance can have an opportunity to give a speech. This is usually reserved for the end of the ceremony, after all of the designated ceremony speakers have had a chance to deliver their remarks. The open microphone is often introduced by the host, celebrant, or master of ceremonies. An open microphone segment usually lasts around 10 - 15 minutes
Who speaks at an open microphone during a memorial service?
Unless you have specifically asked certain guests to speak, anyone can have an opportunity to share a story or a memory about the honouree publicly during this open microphone.
Who is involved with an open microphone?
The family or organizing group will the best group that decides is there is an open microphone
Guests will participate in the open microphone
The Host or Emcee will be the one moderating and facilitating the open microphone
Guests - the ones sharing and participating in the open mic
Host - the one moderating / facilitating the open microphone
Where do we start?
If you’re interested in entertaining the idea of an open microphone, we have a step by step guide on how to successfully incorporate an open microphone into any service:
Step 1: Begin With The End in Mind
To ease into the concept of thinking about an open microphone, put a soft limit on how long or how many people can participate. Think about the timing of the open microphone segment and start with putting a soft limit as a guide. This limit can look like, “we are only going to have spots for 3 people,” or, “the open microphone will last no more than 10 minutes.”
Even if you decide to change your mind, we recommend setting a limit to get started. In our experience, 10 - 15 minutes is the average time needed for an open microphone.
To help with the ending, have your emcee, host, or celebrant be prepared to introduce the last speaker as, “the last speaker we will hear from today is,” so that guests understand there are no more opportunities.
Step 2: Discuss the plan with your emcee or event host
As past emcees ourselves, we get it: open microphones can be hard to facilitate without a structure or guidance. A host may feel like there is a lot of pressure on their shoulders: guests looking to the front of the room, unsure if they want to speak, unsure if anyone else will get up and share, and of course unsure when they themselves should conclude the sharing.
Whether you are a host or a family organizing the ceremony, create a plan for the ceremony. This plan will help the host understand what’s expected and will help the family be present in the moment, knowing there’s a plan in place.
Here are some questions to ask when developing a plan:
Do we have a time limit for the open microphone?
When will it be time to wrap up?
Are there any guests who have volunteered to go first?
Will the host feel comfortable with waiting at least a few seconds before moving on?
As a host or emcee, when it’s time to wrap up, or we’re nearing the end of our time for the open share, we recommend they introduce this last speaker by saying, “and our last speaker will be…”
When in doubt, your emcee or host can always contact us to help, guide, or suggest verbiage.
Step 3: Tell your guests ahead of time
If you are planning to include an open microphone during the ceremony, let your guests know! We highly recommend including details on the event invitation, your memorial website of choice, or including these remarks in the opening notes before the event gets started.
Many times, the horror stories from open microphones past could have been mitigated or sometimes solved by giving your guests an opportunity to prepare a story or a comment beforehand.
One way we’ve seen this work out well is to include the question in your event invitations or RSVPs. If using a site like Paperless Post or sending an RSVP form, think about including the question, Would you like an opportunity to speak during our ceremony?. Not only will this give guests the opportunity to think about their involvement, but it will also help you create a short list for the smoothest execution.
Guests can also choose not to participate in the open microphone, even if they have written something. The idea here is to give guests the agency to prepare some words but to also decide in the moment if they feel comfortable.
Step 4: Ask a few close friends or family to volunteer to go first
We find that having 1 - 3 people start us off, or ‘planted’ among the guests may be beneficial to encouraging others to approach the microphone with their own stories. Please ask them well ahead of time to give them the opportunity to accept or decline, with enough time before the event.
Don’t underestimate the power of the herd mentality! The volunteers more often than not subtly encourage other guests to share and speak from their heart about the honouree and by them going first, other guests will see that the pop-up style of sharing is welcomed.
Here are a few ideas for finding these volunteers:
Ask close friends or family who ask if they can help, or if there’s anything they can do. Let them know that you would love for them to share an anecdote or a story during the ceremony
Grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or other extended family.
Close friends or colleagues of the immediate family. Some of the most dynamic open microphones involved neighbours, close friends, or even the best friends of the honouree’s children talking about what the honouree was like as their best friend’s parent while growing up
Ask someone in the family to start by reading a passage or a special written tribute that was emailed in. You can either start the open sharing with this passage, or have it on standby ‘just incase’ you need something else to include in the reflections
Step 5: Don’t Force It!
Although we are big fans of the raw magic and heartfelt moments that come from an open share, we want our families to be comfortable, first and foremost, which is why we say, don’t feel obligated to force an open microphone.
After facilitating over 300 events, we’ve seen it all, from the ultra chatty to the events where guests don’t feel comfortable with speaking for whatever reason. There is a fine line between holding onto the awkward silence and concluding the sharing. On the one hand, you don’t want to cut it off too soon, but on the other hand, you don’t want to force it. We will say that guests will often wait to muster up the courage within before they get up and approach a microphone.
Whether you decide to forego the open microphone or there is not much participation, trust that your emcee will know when it’s time to conclude. This is something you can discuss with your emcee during the planning phase.
Other than an open microphone at the front of the room, there are plenty of other ways you can encourage your guests to share their stories and memories:
Ask your emcee to remind guests about contributing to the guest book, or writing reflections on specially-created memory cards
Create a group ‘project board’ or other interactive display to encourage reflections
The emcee can encourage story sharing and mingling during the reception afterwards
IN CONCLUSION
When thoughtfully planned, open microphones can be a beautiful way to encourage the sharing of stories that you likely have not heard before. The open mic sharing has the potential to be the key to hearing more stories from guests and to give a family another perspective of the honouree.
At the end of the day, we are big fans of the open microphone but understand if it’s not the most appropriate or suitable option for groups and families. We want you to do what feels right to you and are here to help if we can provide options or resources.